I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
