Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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