She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
