You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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