I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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