i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
