So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
