It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
