What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I made him laugh his dick is mine
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
