I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
