shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
