hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
