I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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