On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
