should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
