He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
