Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
