dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Let's get the cat blown out
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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