No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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