NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
