ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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