The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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