i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
