That's intense
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
