It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ladies don't puke and tell
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
