So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
