Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
