You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
