Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
