You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i don't like sucking hair
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
