Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
