So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
