Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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