Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
