I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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