He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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