I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
