It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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