He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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