I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
