what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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