I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
