I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
