so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
