there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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