The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
