i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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