trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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