i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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