like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
