watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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