i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
